DEALING WITH REJECTION IN YOUR CREATIVE PRACTICE
You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.
~Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic : Creative Living Beyond Fear
I am a sucker for punishment.
This year, I made a few ‘unconscious’ decisions about my photographic practice:
to work on any project that made my heart sing (this is going strong)
to not concern myself with getting paid jobs for the sake of getting paid jobs (tick)
to minimise my focus on competition entries in order to stay on track with what I truly want to create
This last point is where I may have fallen apart at the seams, and where I circle back to that opening sentence….
I am a sucker for punishment.
You see, I started the year strong, ignoring the early calls to a number of competitions. As the months passed, and emails flooded my inbox with foreboding entry deadlines, my initial determination began to show some cracks, and I threw in some last minute entries to a couple of competitions. I promised myself I wouldn’t think too much about the results, and tried to emotionally untie myself to the images that I had submitted.
In reality, I was teetering on the edge of a deep dive in.
Another month passed, and a different competition started pumping out the posts on the socials. ‘Just one more’, I’d say. ‘I’m not taking any of it seriously’, I could hear in my thoughts.
Then, my systematic brain kicked into gear and I made a post-it note list of the awards I had already entered, plus a few more on the radar.
In small annotations, I added the dates in which finalists were to be notified.
This was my breaking point. I was fully immersed in the desire to see some results in these competitions, that I was checking the calendar and waiting impatiently for the email notifications.
And when the emails came in to let me know (on the most part) that my entries had not been successful, I plunged into the dark waters of self-loathing that I had been trying to avoid from the beginning.
Rejection can come in many forms in the creative arts world. You might notice it when a post on Instagram, buried by the algorithm, doesn’t get many likes. Maybe you’re hoping to nab a particular job but the client decides to go with someone else. Or perhaps you feel it when you put your work out publicly for purchase, but all you hear in return is crickets.
No matter how well prepared you are, rejection hurts. It hurts because creativity stems from an internal place, and rejection of the output, be it a photograph, a painting, a piece of writing or a musical piece for example, feels like a dismissal of one’s inner self. From an evolutionary standpoint, rejection from our social peers was considered danger territory during tribal times, so its fair to presume that this genetic predisposition remains strong in all of us to this day.
And it goes beyond just emotional pain. It is widely accepted that rejection triggers the same parts of the brain that physical pain does. (Even more interesting, studies have shown that taking paracetamol can reduce feelings of emotional rejection in participants, when compared to participants who took a placebo tablet).
Of course, our rational brains, when they do finally kick into gear, can understand that there is no direct correlation between the opinion of others and our own self-worth. While we put pieces of our selves into our art practice, the artwork itself does not define us.
The first step in moving forward out of a rejection-fuelled slump of self-pity is to feel and acknowledge the emotions. Be vulnerable and feel the sting. If it helps, write down the emotions or how the experience made you feel. Better yet, be prepared for the possibility of rejection and your emotions may not feel as big and you will spend less time moving past it.
“Own your disappointment, acknowledge it for what it is, and move on”
~Elizabeth Gilbert
Remind yourself, you are not alone. With every rejection you receive, no doubt, hundreds, if not thousands (or more) of other highly talented and capable artists received a similar response. Being realistic in your understanding of this will certainly help reduce the sting.
Allowing yourself the time to move on (or take a timeout) from creating work can help. We must remind ourselves of the courage it takes to put out into the world a piece of creative work that was formed in our minds, informed by our personal thoughts, emotions and past experiences. But we also must realise that the art world is based on opinion, and you cannot please everyone all at once. Rejection doesn’t necessarily equate to failure. Understand and acknowledge that with all your work, you are likely to get a mixture of Yes and No responses. Its part and parcel of the process. If you are not receiving at least some rejections, then its likely you are not putting your work out there for the world to see.
Focus on what you can control, and bring your head above the water once again.
Listening to criticism or feedback gives us an opportunity to reflect upon our work, when you otherwise would not have done so. Reflection and consideration of others opinions can open up a portal in another direction, or at least, create new work from the pain.
Stay true to your vision but be open to flex. Creativity and flexibility must come hand in hand, for without flexibility, we will likely keep producing the same work over and over, and nothing new will come of our efforts.
In the end, rejection is an inevitable part of the creative journey, but it doesn't have to define us or our work. We’re all bound to experience setbacks—whether it’s a competition, a job, or a post that didn’t hit the mark. What matters is how we move forward. By owning our disappointment, accepting the sting, and then picking ourselves back up, we reclaim our creative spirit. Each “no” is just a stepping stone towards the next “yes.” So, we continue creating, not for approval, but because it’s what we love to do—and that’s where the real success lies.
I am brought back to the wonderful words of Elizabeth Gilbert from Big Magic (in my opinion, a creative’s bible) when she says…
My creative expression must be the most important thing in the world to me (if I am to live artistically) and it also must not matter at all ( if I am to live sanely).
Wise words we can all learn from.